So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
