It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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