The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
