Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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