garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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