i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
