My brain says no but my pants say off.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You've changed since you got that strap on
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
