I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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