dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
