Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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