so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
