I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
