it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
