spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just sucked dick on a ferry
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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