His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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