I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
