I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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