She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
