i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
