He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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