No stitches, just platelets and will power
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
