I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I wish there were birth control emojis
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
