Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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