I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
