Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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