I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
