Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Watching her eat just hurts me
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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