Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
