I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
