what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
