I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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