I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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