porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
