DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize