Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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