3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
