Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
There are leaves in my underwear?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
