I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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