i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
