so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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