I can't watch pbs sober anymore
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
