dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Randomize
