its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
