You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
