There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just had sex on a roof
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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