is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
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