Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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