My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I had to cum in my sink.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
