I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
