the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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